pale beneath the blue

Road stories and more from singer/songwriter, pale beneath the blue.

Friday, January 27, 2006

It's the little things...

I woke up this morning, still in and out, not ready to get out of bed, when a thought came into my mind. I grabbed my journal and started writing the chorus to a song. Then I had an idea for an opening line. In about 8-10 minutes I had an entire song. I love when that happens. The interesting thing is that I've been really frustrated all week and couldn't figure out why or where it came from. There's someone in my life that I've had no desire to talk for about 5 days. I knew I wasn't mad at him really, just no real desire to say anything to him at all, nor really anyone else, but some of you have been able to pull me into conversations.

So, I thought I was done with the song and then some more things were coming so I wrote it all down and realized that the last time I spoke with him, he cut me off mid-sentence. That was it. Forget it, I'm done. It wasn't even a big deal, but he does this all the time. He's not really listening to me--his mind wanders and so it doesn't matter what I'm saying. If he has a thought that seems important at the time, he speaks. And because he wasn't listening, he doesn't even realize that he's doing it. Meanwhile, I feel extremely unimportant. Normally, I'd probably just give him a hard time and go on, but with the leg not healing, the keyboard driving me crazy, being broke and not leaving the house to work, I was beginning to lose my mind.

What is more sad, I think, is that I can totally talk about him in a public forum because he will never read this. He knows this blog exists but doesn't care to surf over to see what I'm up to. He's never even seen . Again, he knows it's there. Is that bad? Or just expected after we've known each other for 9 years?



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